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The Anxious Artist

The Anxious Artist

Art and Writing by Kristy Southivilay

I’m not doing art full time.

I worked a lot of jobs where I don’t do any art or design at all. I spent thousands of dollars and years dedicated to pursuing art as a career. As soon as I graduated, I found myself deathly afraid to pursue art seriously. It was just a hobby growing up, but it also became a healthy way for me to express myself. I wanted to do more art but was afraid of putting myself out there. To this day, my anxiety kicks in whenever I think of doing art full time.

It’s things like:
“ What if I’m not good enough?”
“ Who would want to look at my content?”
“ What if I put so much work into something that never takes off?”

I’ve allowed myself to be swallowed up with negative thoughts and emotions instead of stepping out of my comfort zone and creating. At the end of the day, I was meant to create and be something more than what my mental illness tells me I am. I want to create art for others to see. But more importantly, I want to create art for me. Whether I go viral and get millions of people sharing my content or even a few people who say that they look forward to my next post, at least I know I tried and put myself out there. It’s important to realize that our brains lie to us. With the right help — whether that’s therapy, medication, mindfulness, the right diet, or some combination — we can overcome anxiety and accomplish what we set out to accomplish.

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